Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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