For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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