don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
