I wanna passion pit in your ass
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
