we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
this just has baby written all over it
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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