I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
