I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
