Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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