i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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