Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
