I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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