1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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