gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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