Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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