Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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