on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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