whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
