I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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