I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
