I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
