so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
