I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
