we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
