I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
my being single is dangerous.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
