nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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