Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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