he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
