u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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