I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
