Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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