I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
