that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I still have a little drunk in my system
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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