I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
