Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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