Yo dont text me then not text me
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
no you cant smoke seaweed
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
