i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize