Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
