Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
