if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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