Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
