God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
