I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
