I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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