I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
well you can't waste a boner
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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