she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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