i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
