it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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