I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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