I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
