Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Alive.
So much puke
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
