i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
