I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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