I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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