You're so nebulous sometimes
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
