More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Be still, my beating vagina.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
