worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
