It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
