But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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